centered

Some days, no matter how hard I try, I can't please everyone. Some days, I can't please anyone.

I don't consider myself a people pleaser. But there's an intimate circle of people who's opinion of me matters a great deal to me. When I can't please someone in that circle, it really bothers me.

We've been doing a class on marriage and last week we talked about love languages. I've known what mine are for a long time, but Danny Silk put a new twist on the one of the attributes of words of affirmation. People who use that as a main love language can be very sensitive to criticism.

I've been told that I'm just too sensitive. And I do have a hard time separating critique of something I've done with who I am, whether it's a painting or the way I handled a situation.

Anyway, when I get a critique or when someone is mad at me, it affects me a lot. And it can be quite distracting. I can't just carry on with my day knowing that someone who is important to me is feeling badly towards me.

This is my natural response, but I'm not convinced that it's right.

I know that my validation comes from God. I know who I am, and for the most part.. I like who I am. Not in an arrogant, I'm so perfect way. But I recognize that, through God's grace, I've come a long way and I'm still moving in a good direction. When I make a mistake, that's not what defines me.

I feel like it comes down to not being controlled by my situation. Even if I did say something stupid, that doesn't justify continuing to act in anger. Or to freak out and be overcome with guilt. I need to make it right, remember who God says I am, and move on.

I'm a pretty relational person. I don't get my joy in life from my career, some abstract dream or personal achievement. I get my joy from my relationships. So it can be really hard when one of those relationships isn't 100% kosher. But I can only do my part. And I can't force the other party to do their part. It feels unnatural to be at peace with that.. but I don't think there is peace without doing so.

So here I go, pursuing peace. Within myself, among my loved ones, and throughout the whole world.

Dream house

http://sciencehax.com/2010/01/beautiful-home-built-from-recycled-materials/

I love that so people are getting on board with social justice issues.

I really hope it's not just a trendy thing to do.

One day, I want to live in a home like the one above.