“Some people do not have to search, for they find their niche early in life and rest there seemingly contented and resigned.
At times, I envy them but usually I do not understand them…
And seldom do they understand me.
I am one of those searchers.
There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we completely content.
We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand.
We like to walk along the beach; we are drawn to the ocean, taken by its power and unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty.
We like forests, mountains, deserts, hidden rivers, and lovely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as our laughter. We are ambitious only for life itself and for anything beautiful it can provide.
Most of all, we want to love and be loved, to live in a relationship that will not impede our wanderings and prevent our search.
We do not want to prove ourselves to others or compete for love.
This passage is for wanderers, dreamers, and lovers who dare to ask of life everything which is good and beautiful.”
- Author Unknown
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Another world is possible
Last night a woman named Tracy Evans shared with Bethel. Bryon actually got to hear her earlier in the week and he told me she was amazing, but I was completely blown away!
Tracy is a missionary to Mozambique. She's a teeny, gentle woman and she has changed thousands of lives. She touched my heart so much.. I just have to share what she's doing.
One thing her team does to help the community is caring for 600 babies every week. Many young mothers die while the babies are just infants, and then there is no way to feed them. Tracy and her team have made a deal.. if another member of the family will take responsibility for the young one, they can bring the child in once a week and they will supply a week's worth of formula and health care for the child and the family member who brings them in. This way, the babies are still able to live with their families and grow up in the African culture, instead of becoming isolated from them. On top of that, they've seen many of the young woman and children healed of AIDS!
They also run a prison ministry. They go to the jail almost every day and do a Bible study. The prisoners are dependant on their families to supply food. Tracy's team has been able to have some of the men come to their fields and help with the farming. Then, when they harvest the crop, they bring some of the food back to the prison!
In Mozambique, everyone runs out and plants their whole crop after the first rain. One year, after they had done that, it didn't rain again and everyone's crop died. Someone donated a bunch of new seeds to Tracy's ministry.. but instead of planting them, she gave them away to the rest of the village and she decided to raise their crop from the dead.. and it worked!! Not only did their crop grow, but it yielded 60% more than usual!
This woman works in an area that is predominately Muslim. She has been arrested by the unfriendly guerrilla fighters 3 times. She got shipwrecked for a year on a tiny island.. and by the time she left, everyone of the island knew Jesus.
I know that reading about someone seems distant. But Tracy is so real. It seems so possible. She is out there doing the work of God. And she made sure to emphasize that she doesn't regret a thing. I want to be able to say that.
This is the heart of our God. To care for the poor and the orphans. To heal the sick and raise the dead. To provide abundance out of nothing.
I am filled with joy and anticipation.
Tracy is a missionary to Mozambique. She's a teeny, gentle woman and she has changed thousands of lives. She touched my heart so much.. I just have to share what she's doing.
One thing her team does to help the community is caring for 600 babies every week. Many young mothers die while the babies are just infants, and then there is no way to feed them. Tracy and her team have made a deal.. if another member of the family will take responsibility for the young one, they can bring the child in once a week and they will supply a week's worth of formula and health care for the child and the family member who brings them in. This way, the babies are still able to live with their families and grow up in the African culture, instead of becoming isolated from them. On top of that, they've seen many of the young woman and children healed of AIDS!
They also run a prison ministry. They go to the jail almost every day and do a Bible study. The prisoners are dependant on their families to supply food. Tracy's team has been able to have some of the men come to their fields and help with the farming. Then, when they harvest the crop, they bring some of the food back to the prison!
In Mozambique, everyone runs out and plants their whole crop after the first rain. One year, after they had done that, it didn't rain again and everyone's crop died. Someone donated a bunch of new seeds to Tracy's ministry.. but instead of planting them, she gave them away to the rest of the village and she decided to raise their crop from the dead.. and it worked!! Not only did their crop grow, but it yielded 60% more than usual!
This woman works in an area that is predominately Muslim. She has been arrested by the unfriendly guerrilla fighters 3 times. She got shipwrecked for a year on a tiny island.. and by the time she left, everyone of the island knew Jesus.
I know that reading about someone seems distant. But Tracy is so real. It seems so possible. She is out there doing the work of God. And she made sure to emphasize that she doesn't regret a thing. I want to be able to say that.
This is the heart of our God. To care for the poor and the orphans. To heal the sick and raise the dead. To provide abundance out of nothing.
I am filled with joy and anticipation.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Original
I tried and tried to find the quote on the internet, but I'm pretty terrible about remembering the exact wording of anything. The gist was:
"It's better to be a first rate you than a poor man's someone else."
That struck me. For the entirety of my adolescence I tried to find my identity in other people. Sometimes I admired them for good reasons, sometimes not. I wanted to be as smart as this person, as pretty as that girl, as witty as him... I never felt like just being me was enough of anything to stand on.
The older I've gotten the less of an issue this has been. I've become much more secure. But I still catch myself comparing. Wondering how I measure up. Now, I do this concerning my looks, personality.. and my spirituality.
I'd grown very comfortable at home. I knew who I was. I knew where I fit. Here at Bethel, the environment is so different.. it's challenging in a wonderful way. But there are some less than fabulous challenges as well.
Spiritually it's so good for me. My box is ever expanding. My relationship with Christ growing more intimate. My understanding of who God is and who he sees me as is becoming much clearer.
However, many of the girls here are very pretty and incredibly trendy. There's a focus on the arts here and fashion is seen as one of the realms that the church needs to take leadership in. That's fine, I guess. But that's not my field. Not my call. Sometimes, though, it feels intimidating being around all these girls who are leading the way.
My first reaction was to judge myself. I don't look the same as them = there's something wrong with me. But I remembered getting to where I am. In my situation, feeling the need to look a certain way is something God has been setting me free from. So out came the T-shirts!
Then.. I found myself judging them. Obviously, this is revelation I've attained and they just aren't there yet. How dare they be so shallow! = Nope, not accurate. Bad on my part.
I've prayed for years that I would be transformed through the Holy Spirit to look like Shane Claiborne. Oh no, wait.. to look like Jesus! I gave Him my life and said He could use me however He wanted to. If that looks different than others, what difference does that make?
I know there are gifts and desires in me that are unique. I have the freedom to pursue my own dreams, even if not everybody feels that same passion. For so long, I wondered if I was lacking something because the things I longed for were different than the majority.
But God is a big God. He's got lots of dreams. And He's trusted me with some that are a little less common. How awesome! He considered me responsible enough to be trusted with them.
I will be found faithful.
"It's better to be a first rate you than a poor man's someone else."
That struck me. For the entirety of my adolescence I tried to find my identity in other people. Sometimes I admired them for good reasons, sometimes not. I wanted to be as smart as this person, as pretty as that girl, as witty as him... I never felt like just being me was enough of anything to stand on.
The older I've gotten the less of an issue this has been. I've become much more secure. But I still catch myself comparing. Wondering how I measure up. Now, I do this concerning my looks, personality.. and my spirituality.
I'd grown very comfortable at home. I knew who I was. I knew where I fit. Here at Bethel, the environment is so different.. it's challenging in a wonderful way. But there are some less than fabulous challenges as well.
Spiritually it's so good for me. My box is ever expanding. My relationship with Christ growing more intimate. My understanding of who God is and who he sees me as is becoming much clearer.
However, many of the girls here are very pretty and incredibly trendy. There's a focus on the arts here and fashion is seen as one of the realms that the church needs to take leadership in. That's fine, I guess. But that's not my field. Not my call. Sometimes, though, it feels intimidating being around all these girls who are leading the way.
My first reaction was to judge myself. I don't look the same as them = there's something wrong with me. But I remembered getting to where I am. In my situation, feeling the need to look a certain way is something God has been setting me free from. So out came the T-shirts!
Then.. I found myself judging them. Obviously, this is revelation I've attained and they just aren't there yet. How dare they be so shallow! = Nope, not accurate. Bad on my part.
I've prayed for years that I would be transformed through the Holy Spirit to look like Shane Claiborne. Oh no, wait.. to look like Jesus! I gave Him my life and said He could use me however He wanted to. If that looks different than others, what difference does that make?
I know there are gifts and desires in me that are unique. I have the freedom to pursue my own dreams, even if not everybody feels that same passion. For so long, I wondered if I was lacking something because the things I longed for were different than the majority.
But God is a big God. He's got lots of dreams. And He's trusted me with some that are a little less common. How awesome! He considered me responsible enough to be trusted with them.
I will be found faithful.
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