barbarian

"There is a barbarian revolt taking place, and its command center is the kingdom of God. Everywhere the kingdom of God advances, there is a violent engagement against a dark kingdom. To be born of God is to be made a citizen in the kingdom of God, and the kingdom of God is at war. Do not confuse this kingdom with Paradise. Salvation is not reentry into a Paradise Lost; it is enlistment in the kingdom of God.
Jesus is telling us in no uncertain terms that there is a battle raging. This is perhaps the most important reason why we must choose the barbarian way and resist any temptation to become civilized. Domesticated Christians are far too willing to abdicate the battle for the soul of the world. Civility focuses our energy on all the wrong places. We spend our lives emphasizing our personal development and spiritual well-being. We build churches that become nothing more than hiding places for the faithful while pretending that our actions are for the good of the world. Or we choose political or secular vehicles to try to advance our cultural values, strangely attempting to make unbelieving people act like civilized believers.
In contrast Jesus calls us to a different way. He tells us this is a battle of kingdoms. He insists that if we are His followers, we must not live in a world defined only by the material. We cannot limit our sights to what is flesh and blood. We should know better than that. To see from a kingdom perspective is to know that there is a conflict of invisible kingdoms and that people's lives are forever changed by what happens in the unseen. We are called to be warriors of light in dark places. We are mystical warriors who use weapons not of this world."
-Erwin McManus, The Barbarian Way


This scares the crap out of me. Yet it resonates deep within my soul. Being a part of the kingdom of God requires EVERYTHING we have and EVERYTHING we are. Becoming a follower of Christ does not make life "easier." But it does make it worth something.
For so long I've limited my Christianity to my personal theology. But it's so much more than that.. we're God's body here on earth. He has a purpose. And he plans on using us to accomplish that purpose.
I wish I knew exactly what that is going to look like for me, but I really don't. I just want to open to it, whatever it is. Lately, I've been praying that God will break out of every box I've put him in. And that he will break down anything I lean on besides him. No matter what the cost.. it's worth it to truly follow him.
It's so much more than I signed up for. I know we're supposed to count the cost before. But I'm realizing more and more now that the deeper I go with God, the more he invests in me, the more that will be required. And I know that I want my life's purpose to be used as his vessel.
It's a little terrifying. And incredibly exhilarating.