I've neglected blogging as of late.
I feel full of thoughts but empty of articulation.
This phase in my life is kind of surreal. Being here is almost like a break from our real lives.. it's just a really long trip. I am glad to be here. But sometimes it is hard. Some of our "stuff" has definitely been coming to the surface. I don't believe it would unless it's something that God wants to deal with in us. So our marriage is being purified.. and there are moments when that hurts. It's so easy to remember how good and faithful God is when things are easy and happy. But during trials, it's a whole lot more difficult. We each have a lens through which we view God and the rest of the world. If that lens is anything but "God is love. Everything He does is motivated by love. He wants to draw me to Him" then- everything sucks. It's just completely discouraging. When we remember the truth though.. His heart for us gives us victory and joy.
I reconnected with an old friend yesterday. It's so good to see how people have grown and changed, and how they've stayed the same. It makes me think about how I've changed and how I'm the same. For me, looking back on my roots makes me feel empowered.. to hold on to, and pursue, the things in me that I like, and to move on from the things that I don't.
"It is never to late to be what you might have been." George Eliot
One of my favorite things about being on the west coast that we have an autumn. Yesterday I drove home through several miles of trees that were red, orange and yellow. It was so beautiful.. You can't have a moment like that and not stop and think about the goodness in life. There is beauty in every season, in every moment. It certainly doesn't always look like what we'd expect, but it's there. We always have hope.
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