Dos Anos

May 25 marked our second wedding anniversary. I feel like Bryon and I have been together long enough to be transparent about our relationship.

We are happy. We're still in love. We will have a 50th anniversary.
But the last couple of years have had some rough moments.

I've thought a lot about how much easier marriage made the whole sexual sin thing for me. And not having to wonder "is this relationship God's will for my life??" That thought plagued me years before I met Bryon. So it seemed like life got much easier. Now I could get on with my dreams, you know? But marriage isn't the Happily Ever After of life. In many ways, it's been the beginning to my journey.

Marriage is incredibly trying. I started to realize how often I am selfish, how often I act in anger. And since I'm with my husband most of the time.. I've realized how much of my time is spent not doing the things I say I want to do.

I've learned more about grace in the last two years than any other period of my life. There are times when I positively do NOT want to forgive Bryon. But that is so not what God does, nor what he wants me to do. There are other times when I screw up and I hurt him. That sucks. And it makes me think about how I can hurt God's heart also.

But love covers all of that. Not always perfectly in marriage. We're learning. It's definitely a long road. But always perfectly from God. Love, love, love and TONS of grace. I can't even begin to understand how much it takes for each one of us, how much he loves us. Or how incredibly thankful I am about that.

My relationship with Bryon has been a beautiful illustration of that love. How good and fulfilling it can be, and also how much forgiveness it can take. Neither of us are perfect, but I'm happy to be travelling through life with him.

"I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done"

<3